Two Weeks

It’s hard for me to wrap my head around but Jonathan is two weeks old today.

Time since we were admitted to the hospital on Thursday the 16th has been really strange. It’s moving quickly and slowly at the same time, leaving me unsure of what day it is, let alone what date it is.

Jonathan, from the moment he was born, has become such an integral part of our family. It seems like he was just born and like he’s always been here at the same time. Stephen said something the other day that was so perfect. He said (paraphrasing here) that when it was just the two of us, it never felt like we were lacking anything, but now that Jonathan is here, it’s impossible to imagine life without him.

So as I sit here watching him sleep next to me, I wanted to compile some thoughts from the last two weeks. This isn’t going to be in any logical order, or possibly not even be coherent, but here goes nothing…

• When people say that it “moves so fast,” they are seriously not joking. He’s only two weeks old, and still very tiny, but I can’t help thinking that he’s growing way too fast. I can’t help thinking that the last two weeks are like the blink of an eye and I am so happy that I’m not just taking 6 weeks of maternity leave- I’d already be 1/3 of the way done. And that breaks my heart more than a little bit.
• This probably contradicts my first point, but I am so excited to see who Jonathan is going to grow to be. He’s got almost every single life experience ahead of him and I can’t wait to see how he grows as a person. I’ve thought he had a great personality since he was still cookin’, and I am so curious to see what he likes (currently: downing milk like it is the last milk in existence) and what he dislikes (currently: diaper changes and pulling clothes over his head). Will he like Samoas (like his mommy) or Thin Mints (like his daddy) or something entirely different? Yes, I know that’s trivial but there’s just so much life ahead!
• Even though very little in the process of labor and delivery went according to my birth plan, I have no regrets. I was wondering if there would come a time where I would be disappointed by the way things went down, but looking at our little man and knowing he’s healthy makes all of that so inconsequential.
• I kind of miss being pregnant. I was blessed with an easy pregnancy and I miss those special moments we shared as he moved inside of me. But then I see him interact with his dad and my heart absolutely melts and I am reminded how wonderful it is to have special moments as a family. Is it totally crazy that I feel like I could totally do that again? (But have no intention of doing so soon.)
• I’m crazy about my husband. I feel like anyone who knows me or has read my blog or Twitter or Facebook has seen that. But there is no comparison to seeing him with our son. Every moment that I see them together I feel like my heart might literally explode because it swells with love. I knew early on in our dating that he would be a great dad but, much like actually being a parent, it far exceeds any expectation I could have possibly had.
• I’m so happy that we waited to be surprised by whether we had a son or daughter. I know it drove you all crazy, but the moment he was born and Stephen told me that we had a son was so perfect. I was just so happy to have given birth to our baby that I almost forgot that we didn’t know. Then when Stephen looked at me, tears in his eyes, and said that we had a boy… I can’t explain the joy. And he’s just so perfect.
• I’m so excited to be the mother of a boy. Even though he’s already initiated me into the “Moms of Boys” club while changing his diaper, I can’t wait to experience all the fun parts of having a boy, too. Little League baseball. Legos. Playing outside & getting dirty. Taking him to his first ball game. Teaching him to be a gentleman. Being his loudest cheerleader. And so much more.
• We’re so blessed to have family & friends who have helped us as we adjust to being parents. My parents were here for a little over a week, my aunt was here for a week, Stephen’s mom will be here in a couple days and my Adys are planning to be here in March. We’ve also had friends drop off food for us, cuddle our boy and support us. We are so thankful for the people in our lives who love us and our baby boy.
• I love the name we chose for our son. I love why we chose it and I love what it means to us. Stephen is working on a blog to explain how we came to the decision to name our baby Jonathan if we had a boy. I’ll be reposting it here once he’s done.
• Everywhere we go, people remark about how perfect he is. And they’re right. He is perfect in every single way.
• He’s truly a miracle. God has blessed us beyond measure by giving us this baby boy. My heart can not contain the joy and thankfulness I feel knowing that we get to raise him to love the Lord. Seeing how precious he is makes me wonder what our first two babies will look like when we see them in heaven one day, but for now we will love on this precious gift here on earth. Thanking the Lord for his faithfulness and provision.